


To Appreciate

by kitsuchi (genusshrike)



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Drabble Sequence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-09-16
Updated: 2003-09-16
Packaged: 2017-10-08 23:41:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/80697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genusshrike/pseuds/kitsuchi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rita takes a student.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Appreciate

It was so odd; the girl unanimously agreed to be the most unattractive in the school, and the boy all the younger girls fawned over, together. Not that anyone was certain, but it certainly appeared that way. Spending all their time together, secret rendezvous that no-one was supposed to know about... it all made sense, didn't it?

What everyone wanted to know, of course, was why? Why would the most handsome (or prettiest, depending on who you asked) boy in the school want the ugliest girl? Some even doubted she _was_ a girl.

What could Lockhart possibly want from her?

* * *

They'd arranged to meet again, in the library, at night. It wasn't the first time, and Rita thought that it wouldn't be the last. Lockhart might be popular, over-pretty, and generally assumed to be a prick, but he was a good student, and he learnt quickly. She'd tried mentoring before, but given up when the pupil was hopelessly snide. He'd thought that just because she was ugly, he didn't have to respect her. That he knew more than her.

He was wrong, and she'd given up trying. He'd had no appreciation of what Rita was doing for him.

Lockhart did.

* * *

What was quite so shocking about their arrangement that it had the whole school up in arms, Gilderoy didn't know. So Skeeter was below him in looks; she had power, and Gilderoy knew it. The biting way she, - _she_, Skeeter - could destroy a reputation with words; he wanted that. He wanted that command.

After all, he wouldn't be famous simply for being gorgeous. He needed something else, and she had it. He knew with her help, he could have it too. He could twist the world to his devices. They wouldn't call him shallow then. Then, they would appreciate him.

* * *

The library was cold, and Skeeter was a hard taskmaster. It was something, Gilderoy decided, she had to be, just to get by. She didn't let up, and though it sometimes drove Gilderoy to yell, and risk their secrecy, he knew what she said was right. She was the teacher, he was the student, and she held on to that status like it was all she had. Perhaps it was. But even though she was ugly, mannish, stubborn as a bull, Gilderoy was finding that was irrelevant. What she could teach him was the important thing; and he was learning.

* * *

It wasn't long before Rita found her sessions with Gilderoy (he insisted on her calling him Gilderoy) were the best parts of the day. No-one else ever listened with such fervour. And he shut up when he listened to her.

She liked it. She liked the respect he gave her. She liked the way he listened. Even if he was arrogant, he didn't let that get in the way of things. And he didn't pity her. She couldn't teach someone who pitied her. She wasn't one of his fangirls - god, anyone but her - and he knew it. So he listened.

* * *

It made her so mad. After all she'd done for Lockhart, all her attempts - her gifts and sacrifices - to please him... What did he see in that Skeeter girl, that he spent every free minute with her? What was wrong with him. Couldn't he see who really wanted him? Who _deserved_ him? The Skeeter girl could _never_ deserve someone like him. Not even if she was charmed over, she could still never deserve Lockhart.

She couldn't stand it. Who did Skeeter think she was, to lord over Lockhart's time like that? Skeeter would never be worthy of Lockhart's time. Never.

* * *

Gilderoy found for the first time that day, that he brushed off one of the girls. He knew they were obsessed. He couldn't blame them, naturally. But did they have to cling so, like they had rights to him? Flattered as he was by their ready acceptance of truth, it was beginning to annoy him. Rita didn't cling. It was nice, for once, to be second-guessed. To be looked down upon. Those little girls looked up and up, and never would they be his equals. Never would they dream of it. Rita didn't dream - she assumed. And it was good.

* * *

Rita had never wanted to be one of those girly-girls, fawning over every cute guy to pass her way. But lately she was slipping. She let Gilderoy's charm get under her skin. She was making concessions.

She couldn't afford to make concessions. He would never learn if she made concessions. He could be great - the problem was that he knew it. They could both be great, Rita knew that. But not if she let him get to her. Not if she let him get away with things, simply because he was Gilderoy. The public wouldn't do that. Neither should she.

* * *

It drove them insane. Him. With _her_. But why?

She wasn't pretty, she wasn't clever, she wasn't charming. She wasn't feminine, she wasn't shapely, she couldn't flirt. She had _no_ style. So why did he listen to her over him? What did she have that they didn't?

They were pretty, they were clever, they could charm. They were shapely, feminine, _and_ they could flirt, though none would admit to it. They had style. They were all too willing to give themselves to Lockhart.

Hadn't he been all too ready to accept?

Before, when it wasn't her, her, her.

Stupid cow.

* * *

It annoyed him, when they insulted Rita. The way they called her names - he yelled at them them once, to his surprise. He'd never let them get to him before.

They were jealous, that was all. It was understandable - of course they would be envious. Time with him was precious, he could accept that. It was only natural that they get annoyed at his spending time with Rita.

But it annoyed him, that they felt they had the right to his time. He had _given_ Rita that right, and she used it.

They had nothing. But they wanted it all.

* * *

Rita hated it, for those girls to be right. She would never show it, but she did. So she would get her own back, carefully chosen words designed to strike (barbed) and kill. If they would talk like that about her, she would use talk against them. She was good at that.

They'd caught on, that was all. That there wasn't anything between her and Gilderoy. Rita thought that it annoyed them more than if there was. She'd thought them daft, but they could see the truth now. What they knew now she didn't have, they now knew she wanted.

* * *

He hadn't _meant_ to do it. He knew that in some way, he was taking advantage of her. He knew what the girls would think, how horrified they would be. How they would react (badly).

But for once in his life, he thought: screw the girls. He didn't need them. He certainly didn't want them. The only girl he needed, or wanted, was Rita. They were nothing on her, and they would never be equal to her. Not if they tried their whole pitiless lives. And he couldn't pity them. If they couldn't get over him, that was their problem.

* * *

She screamed at herself when he kissed her and she screamed at herself for liking it. For liking him, for wanting him. It was wrong, pure wrong. You couldn't let feelings get in the way of business - hat was what she was doing. Letting feelings screw her over. And she never let feelings screw her over.

She'd thought it would be so easy. Teaching Gilderoy had been easy. But perhaps she'd taught him too much. He was too good now. Too good for her. Too good for any of them.

She pushed him away, and screamed at herself for that too.

* * *

"You're too good for me," she said, and he didn't understand. This was Rita. She never let ideas such as too good get in the way. There was no such thing as too good.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"You're too good."

He got mad. He didn't mean to, but he did. Who was she, to deny him? Who was she - he knew this was the truth - to think she was better than him.

"You should be flattered," he said.

"_What?_"

"You're right," he said. "I am too good for you."

But he knew he was wrong.

* * *

They didn't speak anymore. They ignored each other. He went back to his girls. They would appreciated him. They knew what they got was more than they deserved. _She_ deserved nothing.

She went back into herself. She'd pushed it too far, pushed him too far. She'd lost it all. Another thing to be bitter about. Another reason to hate. And she hated. They all felt her wrath.

Years later, when Witches' Weekly get her an interview with the great Gilderoy Lockhart, she turned it down. The same way she'd turned him down.

In the end, neither could face the truth.


End file.
